Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Indoor Guilt

I've realized lately that sometimes I feel guilty for completely ridiculous things.  One of these is being inside.  Especially, but not limited to, the summertime.  It's one of those "shoulds."  Like what I should be doing on a summer day is enjoying the great outdoors.  Basking in the sunshine, climbing a mountain, being with the trees, eating something straight off a tree (or, you know, a vine, a bush, etc.), laying in the grass, swimming in natural waters, playing at a park, getting a little dirty.  Eating every meal on a patio or a picnic table, and reading only in hammocks, not on couches.  You know, summer things.  I actually secretly wish I lived in a glorified treehouse like the Swiss family Robinson and never was inside and never had to where shoes . . . but I'll not get into that.  So if, instead, I work for 6 hours sitting at a computer and then spend the rest of the day inside with my baby cleaning, feeding, cooking, reading, watching a little t.v., whatever it is I do with my day, and never go outside--I. feel. guilty.  Unnatural. Like some kind of hermit person who was given the gift of a beautiful day and wasted it away.  Now, I'm not actually a hermit person.  I do go outside.  I logged 50 miles on my bike last week (well on my way to my goal)!  I take Camryn on walks, I take care of my plants, I run errands, I go places, but I feel like it's not enough.  Rarely, rarely do I get one of those true summertime days where nature and I spend the whole day together (Curse my family and Tanner's for planning our only summer vacations directly back to back at the end of August).  And those are the only days when I feel like my soul is whole, I'm doing this human being thing right, and that guilt isn't sitting at the back of my brain asking "why are you indoors?"  I think that's why I loved being in Maui, and in Huntington Beach, because I felt like I was outside all the time.  Even when I wasn't, the temperature is always perfect enough to have all the doors and windows wide open.  And there is nothing like toes in the sand and a good long stare at the ocean to alleviate indoor guilt.
One problem is, it's HOT!  Really hot.  The I-kind-of-don't-want-to-go-outside-today-at-all hot.  But I kind of feel like a bad person for staying inside all day.  (Is anyone else experiencing 7 peaks pass of all passes envy?) Is this normal??  Is this some kind of weird anxiety I made up and need to let go, or do I in reality need to be outside more?

6 comments:

  1. i totally get it! The only thing i do outside is go to a pool because its so hot! so i do that A LOT. But I'd really like to go hike or something outdoors on a day it isn't. Can we go?! We did a campfire in the canyon this summer and Mac just loved it. Babies like it outside! Let's plan something!

    I don't think its weird you feel that way! I feel guilty about silly things too... like if I am home all day and my house isn't perfect. I think we will go crazy inside too long.

    And if it doesn't cool down soon, come to my pool!

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  2. Can we go rollerblading? I get the indoor guilts too.

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    1. Yes! It's been far too long. Call me! My # is the same and I very much doubt yours is

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  3. This is the same feeling I get any time the word "Walmart" even crosses my mind. And let's not even go into talking about what kinds of guilty feelings set in when I actually step foot inside the blasted place. Man. I'm glad to know that somebody else has irrational guilt about irrational things...

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    1. oh walmart guilt. . . that's just a whole nother story. . .

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